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Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television

2008-06-23 - 11:02 a.m.

George Carlin.

What can be said about the man that hasn't been said already? Counter-culture icon, first host of SNL, drug addict who cleaned up, had three heart attacks, Grammy winner, "bitter old man" (seen in Hud's blog in the comments), father, widower...I could go on and on.

But the following words - the updated version of today's title, performed for the last time on the Carlin At Carnegie Hall concert - really does say it all:

"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Tits, Fart, Turd, Twat, Crap, Balls, Prick, Asshole, Jackoff, Jerkoff, Scumbag, Douchebag, Hard-on, Rod-on, Boner, Stiff, Pisshard, Blueballs, Nookie, Koose, Gash, Slash, Hole, Slit, Snatch, Box, Beaver, Pussy, Bearded Clam, Jism, Cum, Cream, Juice, Pecker, Peckerhead, Peckertracks, Dick, Dork, Dong, Donacker, Wang, Shlong, Schwantz, Pork, Crabs, Ass, Butt, Hiney, Tuchas, Bum, Buns, Cheeks, Screw, Lay, Diddle, Plow, Hump, Bang, Poke, Batter, Wham, Knock-up, Bugger, Brown, Jugs, Bazooms, Knockers, Knobs, Lungs, Balloons, Dildo, Joystick, Hairpie, Muff, Cornhole, Rimjob, Blowjob, Sugarbowl-pie, Suck-off, Give-head, Sit-on-my-face, Buttfuck, Fingerfuck, Clap, Kleek, 69, 71 which is 69 with 2 fingers up your ass, 68 which is 'you do me and I'll owe you one', daisy chain, circle jerk, cockteaser, wet-dream, cunt-struck, pussywhipped, short-arm, tuna-taco, group-grope, milking-the-chicken, bulldagger, gangbang, ballbreaker, ballbuster, merkin, bananas and cream, up the old dirt road, around the world, beat-your-meat, whack-off, flogging your dong, pounding your pud, beating the bishop, poontang, dingleberry, sit on it, fudgepacker, milking the lizard, fart face, old fart, farting around fart sniffer, ream, snake, raincoat, quickie, queer, queen, putz, put-out, push, beef-injection, dog-style, pop your cookies, bust-your-nuts, one-eyed-monster, knob, pocket pool, tail, piddle, paddle the pickle, one-man-band, snapper, notch, rod, shaft, stick, piece of ass, god damn it, pimp, fucker, punk, faggot, dyke, lezzie, box-lunch, sea-food, hand-job, hammer, hatch, head-job, hot-nuts, hum-job, prong, jellyroll, jerk-the-gerkin, lob, meat whistle, cheese, scat fan, middle-leg, wanking, booty, love-muscle, snapping pussy, ghost, bitch, bastard, clam, bite the brown, going up mustard road, bone-on, bush, button, cunt-lapper, cherry, tool, dingus, quiff, quim, get off, joint, piece, stem, root, crack, cooch, crud, eat me, fuck you, up your ass, get laid, fuck-off, piss-off, piss on you, stick it, stuff it, ram it, jam it, cram it, horny, peter, the one eyed wonder worm, piece-of-ass, little brown eyeball, golden showers, pound cake, boy in the boat, brown eye, brown nose, sloppy seconds, Mongolian cluster fuck, rod of love, copping a feel, copping a cherry, copping a joint, on the rag, flying the flag, riding the cotton pony, dipping your wick, going down on, dry hump, fist fuck, skin-flute, French job, furburger, nuts, get your rocks off, get in, get it up, hung, ginch, gobble, diesel dyke, rubber, shoot, siff, wad, cocksman, tit-fuck, tongue, rough-trade, trick, weenie, and yodeling in the gully."

Rest in peace, George. You've earned it. Have fun counting what you got back.


Remember a few days ago, when I linked to Rep. Ted Poe's statement to Congress about the fluorescent bulb mandate?

Well, it seems that Congress may be re-thinking the idea.

Let's hope so.


Not much else. There's things to get done before work.

And classic George to listen to.

Be seeing you.


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