Laugh

2006-08-10 - 11:34 a.m.

Scotland Yard did its job, and did it well:

LONDON (AP) — British authorities said Thursday they thwarted a terrorist plot to simultaneously blow up several aircraft heading to the United States using explosives smuggled in carry-on luggage. U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said the terrorists planned to use liquid explosives disguised as beverages and other common products and detonators disguised as electronic devices.

Police arrested 21 people, saying they were confident they captured the main suspects in what U.S. officials said had the earmarks of an al-Qaida plot.

I am grateful to law enforcement and military men everywhere who are fighting this threat. You are doing a monstrously difficult job that I probably could never do myself. You have my respect and thanks.

The foiling of this plot, hopefully, will serve as a reminder: Right now, there are people in the world that want to kill you. These people are fanatics of the worst kind: religious fanatics. They're very intelligent and very rich. They have resources. They're determined...and they're very very patient. Their goal is to bring the entire world under Islamic law...or to die trying. Either way they believe they will receive the reward of eternal paradise.

And just because this one has been stopped...doesn't mean they aren't back at the drawing board, planning something new and/or worse.

===

Was watching "City Hunter: Million Dollar Conspiracy" last night. During a car chase, the two vehicles speed by...a Denny's!!

Those places really ARE everywhere!!!

===

I receive a series of jokes from Laff-A-Day in my e-mail Monday through Friday. Last night I got this one. You have been warned:

This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He
rings the bell for the driver to start off when there's a
woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off; the woman
falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the bloke is
sent down for murder, and seeing as it's Texas, he's sent to
the electric chair.

On the day of his execution he's in the chair and the
executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well," says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"

"Yes," answers the executioner.

"Can I have that green banana?"

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits �til
he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips
the switch, sending hundreds of volts through the man. When
the smoke clears, the man is still alive. The executioner
can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks.

"I suppose so," says the executioner, "That's never happened
before."

The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses
selling tickets. Yet again he rings the bell for the driver to
go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the
wheels and is killed. The bloke is convicted for murder again
and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined
to do it right this time, so rigs the chair up to the electric
supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in the
chair.

"What is your final wish?" asks the executioner.

"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the
condemned man.

The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana.

The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the
switch. Millions of volts course through the chair, blacking
out Texas. When the smoke clears, the man is still there,
smiling in the chair. The executioner can't believe it and
lets the man go.

The bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings
the bell while passengers are still getting on, this time
killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again.
The executioner rigs up extra electricity to the chair,
determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in
the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish?" asks the executioner.

"Well," says the man, "can I have that green banana out of
your packed lunch?"

The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it. The
executioner pulls the handle and the volts go through the chair.
When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without
even a burn mark.

"I give up," says the executioner, "I don't understand how you
can still be alive after all that!"

He strokes his chin. "It's something to do with that green
banana isn't it?" he asks.

"Nah," says the bloke, "I'm just a bad conductor."

Ouch.

===

And, on that note...be seeing you.

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